Resolve
by Deana
Summary: Aramis makes a difficult but important resolution. My entry for the 'Fête des Mousquetaires' contest for January: Resolutions.


**Resolve  
** A Musketeers story by Deana  
My entry for the 'Fête des Mousquetaires' contest for January: Resolutions.

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"Aramis? Aramis?"

A sudden touch on his wrist brought Aramis back to the present, and he was slightly surprised when the sounds of the noisy tavern invaded his senses.

"We're on our third drink and you're still on your first," said Porthos.

"Is something wrong?" d'Artagnan asked. He was sitting across from Aramis, and had reached across the table to clasp his arm.

Aramis tightened the grip on his cup and opened his mouth to say 'no', but his three friends were watching him intently and he knew that they'd only worry for him if he lied. "I was…thinking," he told them.

"That's never good," Porthos quipped.

"What about?" Athos asked.

Aramis sighed. He really didn't feel like talking about it.

"Aramis," d'Artagnan said again, squeezing his wrist. "Talk to us."

"Yeah, spill it," said Porthos. "Tomorrow is the new year, you should be celebratin'."

Aramis tugged his wrist out of d'Artagnan's grip so he could lift the cup to his lips, taking a few gulps to steel himself. After placing it back down to the table, he was suddenly unsure where to start. "Five years ago this very night," he said. "Marsac had too much to drink, and thought himself able to fly."

D'Artagnan blinked, having not expected the conversation to turn to Marsac, of all people.

Aramis shook his head. "At first we all thought that he was jesting, but he told the entire tavern to follow him so he could demonstrate, and he headed back to the garrison. I chased after him, and he climbed to the highest point and stood there with his arms outstretched, ready to jump."

D'Artagnan stared at Aramis in shock. "How did you stop him?"

Aramis shook his head. "I didn't. I climbed up behind him and tried to convince him to come down, but he jumped…and I fell with him."

D'Artagnan was drinking his wine and choked on it. "What?!" he sputtered. "How did you both survive?!"

"Painfully, I assure you," Aramis said with a wince. "We went through the roof of the stable and landed in the hay." He put down his cup and crossed himself. "By the grace of God, we escaped serious injury and walked out with cuts and bruises."

D'Artagnan shook his head with amazement.

"A few months later was…Savoy…and Marsac was gone," said Aramis. He sighed and drank his wine again, falling quiet for a moment as he tried to control his emotions. "The following new year, I sat remembering our misadventure and wished that my friend was here. Tonight…" he paused. "Tonight I sit here remembering that a few months ago…I killed him."

D'Artagnan reached out and grasped his wrist again in sympathy, as Porthos put an arm around Aramis and squeezed.

"You cannot blame yourself," said Athos. "You had to do it to save the captain."

"I know," Aramis answered. He placed his other elbow on the table and covered his eyes with his hand as he sighed. "I just wish—so much!—that it hadn't come to that."

The other three were quiet for a moment, each of them feeling guilty to realize that if they'd been with Aramis at the time, they might've been able to spare him the horror of killing his friend.

D'Artagnan suddenly spoke. "My father used to say that when the new year begins, the old one dies," he said. "Everything bad that happened is over and gone, and the new year is a fresh start."

"You'll always have the three of us," Porthos told Aramis. "We would never, _ever_ do to you what Marsac did."

"He got what he deserved and nothing can change that now," said Athos. "This may sound ironic coming from me, but you must move on. The chapter of your life entitled 'Savoy' is truly closed now."

Aramis removed his hand from his eyes and looked at him for a moment before dropping his gaze.

"I propose that we all resolve to move on from everythin' that's happened before today" said Porthos. With his right arm still around Aramis, he grabbed the wine with his left and refilled everyone's cup. "To a new year with a closed door to the past," he said, lifting his own in a toast.

D'Artagnan immediately lifted his, looking at the others expectantly. Athos and Aramis were a bit slower, but they raised theirs too and they all repeated it before drinking.

Porthos squeezed Aramis again before the door suddenly opened and Captain Treville came into the tavern to join his men.

Aramis patted Porthos' arm before rising from his seat and taking the bottle of wine and his cup. He snatched another cup along the way as he headed towards Treville, and handed it to him without a word before filling it. "To a new year," he said. "With a closed door to the past."

Treville saw sadness in Aramis' eyes, and instantly knew why. He shared the grief over Savoy and Marsac, and he knew that what Aramis was doing right now was not easy for him. "To a new year with a closed door to the past," he echoed as he raised his cup.

They drank and weren't sure what to say to each other afterward, until a scripture suddenly popped into Aramis' head. "And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new." He looked towards the table where his friends sat. "Porthos is right, I have to resolve to move on." Aramis looked at his captain. "Can you?"

Treville hesitated. He'd never be able to forgive himself for his part in what had led to the disaster in Savoy. He knew though that the situation was much worse for Aramis, so for the sake of his soldier, he lied. "Yes," he said. "I can move on. We can't change anything, no matter how hard we wish we could."

Aramis nodded with a sigh.

Treville smiled and clapped him on the shoulder, and Aramis smiled back. No more words were needed.

THE END


End file.
